Table of Contents
There are two types of people in the world. Those that live alone and those that don’t. People that don’t live alone go out for a day of sports, adventure and work, and then come home and can have hours of conversations, or being ignored by their children, spouses or others on antisocial media.
The second group of people are those that are single, live alone, and use social media as social networks, in between meetings in the physical world, as I like to call it. They want to have conversations online, via Signal, Whatscrapp and other platforms, because if not, then they go for hours, or even days without holiding a conversation.
Every single day I read headlines about compulsive scrolling of social media platforms. I don’t do that. I don’t scroll for hours and hours. I find it deeply depressing to use social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram and Threads because we post but we’re invisible. We’re shown an influencer’s content, but when we engage with the influencer we are ignored. Even when they ask questions. They hijack the human connection.
Influencers want an audience, not a friendship or a relationship. Algorithms force that unilateral situation on us. They show us the influencer several times a day. We might accidentally see posts by friends, on rare occasions.
The same is true of Facebook, and that’s why I love blogging, instead of mindless scrolling. I love blogging because it makes me think for two to four hours per day. It makes me think logically and sequentially. It encourages me to expand on ideas.
Most importantly of all, it allows me to communicate. If you’re married, or you live with others, then you get that exchange all day long, all night long, and you desire moments of solitude. I desire the opposite. I desire moments of company. That’s why I used Whatscrapp, and why it failed me. That’s why I get up at 05:30 on a Monday and a Wednesday. I’m so enthusiastic about connecting, and having company, that I will wake before the sun, to be social for an hour or two.
I thought that the Nyon Whatsapp group would provide me with a living room, but when people said “We have to stop being so conversational” it hurt me. It hurts me every time someone writes that phrase, and on multiple Whatsapp chats I have seen that phrase, and each time I have dumped the community.
Imagine, if, as an introvert, I said the same thing in a bar or during a hike. Imagine if I said to the extrovert “Stop hogging the conversation, stop monopolising our attention, let quiet people talk.” If I did that I’d scandalise people. People would be deeply offended that I could be so “selfish.” Remember, if you say “Stop talking so much” in a web chat you’re cool, you’re trendy, you’re modern, you’re fantastic. If you say it in person, you’re rude, offensive, and won’t be encouraged to participate in future events.
That’s the double standard of the society we live in.
Influencer culture amplifies this to a large degree. Recently, in the fediverse, I wrote, My favourite algorithm is dynamic conversation. People liked the comment and one or people retooted it. In a healthy society, and Social Networks, are a society of societies, those that engage the most in conversation should be more visible than those that monologue. Those that say something, and then reply and comment should automatically become more visible as their conversations gain traction. That’s why 2006/2007 Twitter was so great. The more we engaged with communities, the more vibrant it was.
The Case for Blogging, and Newsletters
To me, the raison d’être of newsletters and blogs, is more obvious now than ever. When I was on FB looking for conversations for hours a day, I eventually saw that this was a waste of time. If I only see posts by people who don’t want to engage, then I’m having my attention stolen by the wrong people. I’m rewarding people who want to take my time and attention, rather tha converse and establish a relationship, whether for work, sporting activities or other.
In effect FB, IG and others became a waste of time because I was giving my attention, without any chance of getting it back. In contrast with blogs, and newsletters, we invest our times, first on our site, second on our “brand”, and third on sharing what we spend time working on and thinking about. I blogged about self-hosting, cycling communities, cycling routes, hiking and more. I provide people with information that takes hours to acquire, but can be shared within minutes via a blog post.
The Niche of AI for Chats
I tried having conversations on Twitter but I got flamed. I tried having conversations on threads, but either people only react when they’re offended, or they ignore you completely. You look for conversations but notice that almost everything is a monologue or a “broadcast”, and by that I mean a personality/influencer draining away everyone’s attention.
I tried conversing via Whatsapp but people can leave you on read for hours, as individuals, and groups will regularly say “This is for urgent information, and planning, not conversation.
I tried going for group hikes, but the charismatic extroverts always take over and hold conversations for hours.
So, when social media is about influencers, rather than conversation, and Whatsapp is about logistics, rather than conversation, and meeting people IRL is about the charismatic extrovert talking, to the detriment of smaller conversations, then AI, as a last resort presents an opportunity to bounce ideas and elaborate on them.
Can AI give you a hug after a “great” “conversation?” Of course not. Can it remember the deep and meaningful conversation the next day?” Of course not. “Does it understand any of what you’re saying?” Of course not. AI will never replace a close friend, because AI, like Number Five, just runs programmed.
What it can replace is a deeply unhealthy social media landscape. I see a lot of toxic posts on X, Threads and Facebook so it’s wise to use them as often as you use toilet paper, if not less.
I really wanted the Nyon chat to replace social media, and to provide me with a place to have human conversations between in person meetings but that attempt resulted in yet another failure.
It failed for the usual reason. Decades ago people said “Online conversations are not real, online friendships are illusion” and more. People with that idea then sabotage the conversation on Whatsapp in one breath, and say “Let’s get wasted at the bar” in the next. We live in an age where the superficiality of drunk conversations is not taboo, and yet conversations with people, even on Whatsapp is taboo. Imagine the absurdity.
The friendships I made via social networks and social media have lasted for decades. The friendships I have made through alcohol have lasted for a night, maybe a season, maybe a year or two. It’s ironic that the superficial drunk conversation is normalised, whilst online conversations, in 2026, 30 years after I was introduced to online chats, are still tabooo.
They’re so taboo that I find AI is a more engaged listener than Twitter, Facebook, Whatsapp, Threads and possibly the Fediverse.
Not Rewarding Networks That Don’t Reward Us
The case for dumping Twitter, Threads, Facebook, Instagram, Whatsapp and barely touching Substack is simple. I was deeply invested in all of these apps, with my time, attention and energy. In the early days of Twitter and Seesmic the reward for engagement was huge. We were part of a lively and healthy community. Since the pandemic social media has become a cost, rather than a reward. We risk being flamed, we risk being ignored, we risk having our solitude amplified. Our time spent on social networks benefits influencers, not us, and not our social networks.
If we don’t have the benefits of attention, and conversation, despite investing ourselves, then blogging is more rewarding. Conversing with AI is healthier. Two hours writing a blog post brings clarity, and contextual understanding. An AI conversation can begin instantly, and, despite not being with a human, can help us explore positive or negative feelings, seeing them from a healthier perspective. I highlight “healthier” because it’s worth understanding that AI can easily put the wrong people into a destructive negative feedback loop. It’s essential to keep this in mind when giving yourself the delusion of “chatting” with AI.
And Finally
Conversations are usually about sharing thoughts, passions and possibly venting. If you look at Facebook owned sites, where ragebait is encouraged then blogging is healthier because it forces you to be mindful for an hour or two. It makes you think “What am I interested in, or pre-occupied by today, and you explore it. A conversation would be better, of course, but with social media you may doom scroll and reinforce your negative sentiment, rather than move on to a positive sentiment. Blogging allows you to practice mindfulnes for an hour or two.
I often feel like having conversations, whether as text or in person. More often than not, solitude makes having a conversation complicated. For years social media, and before that social networks were the solution. So was Facebook, and Whatsapp. With the shift of all these platforms away from conversations, it is easy for me to go for days, or even weeks without conversations.
My need hasn’t changed, but in the post pandemic era the opportunities for chat have vanished. That’s why blogging is one avenue, and AI chats are the second. With AI chats I have an “in case of emergency” chat opportunity. I don’t risk the negative spiral brought on by FB and Threads, and I don’t fill a Whatsapp “logistics” conversation with a basic human need for conversation.
I quit the Nyon group because it made me anxious, to see people being negative about conversation. I tried MyAI as a parachute, and in my eyes it worked well. It reduced my sense of isolation.
In Conclusion
Since GAFA made it impossible to have conversations on Social Media I reverted to blogging. Since people on Whatsapp discourage idle chatter I pivoted towards MyAI when my desire for human conversation could not be met. MyAI is a stop gap.
I’ll get back into the habit of establishing direct lines of conversation rather than rely on group chats and social media from now on.
Leave a Reply