A Three Year Old’s Instinct to Ask Why

Two or three weeks ago I wrote that I hate Caribana but I also wrote that I have enjoyed the event the past. I also shared a walking route that I could use to get there and back, without using the car. For saying that I hate Caribana I was called a hater, and then that person tried to have a fight, in private via DMs. I said I’m not interested in an argument.

Unheard

I considered leaving the group as a result of this interaction. After some thought I thought “Why did person A apologise, and why did person B not ask “Why” instead of throwing accusations? If a three year old toddler had been around it would have asked “Why?” and I could have given an answer. I would have said that it’s because of the noise pollution that prevents me from watching TV, opening the window, and sleeping from Wednesday to Sunday Morning at 3am. If that question had been asked the situation would have been resolved.

In reality my answer was known, because I mentioned that concern when on the train down from St Cergue after a hike. This is not a secret. I have been open about my concern with Paléo and Caribana forgetting about local people and their right to get a good night of sleep.

Subtext

In a healthy online community people know the nuances of our character. They know about our passions, our concerns, and our character. By using WhatsApp social networks like GoSocial make us more intimate than we should be, too soon. By intimate I mean that we’re in WhatsApp chats with strangers who know nothing about the nuance of our character. It’s easy for misunderstandings to occur. It’s easy to encounter apathy rather than empathy.

Not Personal

My comment was about an aspect of an event. It was not personal. It was an offhand comment that was amplified and blown out of proportion. The irony is that the group is just 25 people or so. In a group that small you expect the community to keep itself in check. In such a small community I expect to be treated as an adult, rather than a misbehaving child.

Curiousity

By asking “Why” a three year old shows curiousity. By showing curiousity a three year old potentially shows empathy. By potentially showing empathy a three year old creates a personal connection. By creating a personal connection the three year old helps a discussion move forward.

And Finally

If the reflex had been to ask “Why?” rather than to police what I wrote, my sense of community would have remained intact. By asking “why” empathy is shown. If empathy is shown the sense of community remains. Since this incident I have given up on Whatsapp chats.

WhatsApp is not a social media channel, and WhatsApp chat rooms are not populated by close-knit communities.