The Never Ending Troll and Flame Wars

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Almost every day, whether on Facebook open groups, or Fediverse instances I post something, and someone feels the urge to say “You’re wrong” and if I answe a stream of trolls and flamers will pile in.

Yesterday someone asked “How do I do A on site B” and I gave two links to articles speaking about how to do A on site B. I was then told that it was not helpful, and then when I answered back a flame war started.

If these trolls and flame wars were once a week or once a month I would think nothing of them. I quit a group two or three days ago because I could tell people were trolling.

I don’t like Facebook and its silo but at least if I stay within certain limits the chance of trolling is less. With Reddit, the Fediverse, Twitter, Quora and other sites you are constantly under the threat of troll attacks and flame wars.

I am tired of it. Since the Mid to late 90s I have been a staunch defender of social networks, and then social media, as interesting places to meet new people and establish new friendhsips but now I feel that my love for social networks, and the social web is destroyed.

I no longer feel that I can promote the social web, especially Facebook, the Fediverse and more. I feel that the social web is so broken that the time has come to use meetup.com and other sites to find people to meet in person.

This morning I saw that I had been flamed on the Fediverse so I blocked I responded with two or three comments, before changing my mind and blocking all those that were in an argumentative mood. When you encounter a gang of bullies, you can respond, and try to defuse the situation but, more often than not, you tar and feather yourself. The mature thing is to walk away, and block.

If I was a teenager today I would never have seen the social web, whether social networks, or social media as a refuge. The bullying that we saw from people IRL has been on the web since people who should never have been introduced to the social web, arrived, due to lockdowns. It’s from that moment that Twitter and FB became dangerously toxic.

The most striking thing I have noticed, after four to five years of self-isolation due to the pandemic, is that people in person are tremendously kind. There is so much empathy from people I hike and climb with, from neighbours and family. This really contrasts with the web, where a single word, out of place, starts a flame war.

As a teenager in the 90s I was often warned about the web and how dangerous it was but I think the web is dangerous now, now that it is mainstream, now that brands use it to brainwash people into buying products, wanting a certain life and more. I think that it is dangerous now that the bullies are present. It is dangerous now that algorithms try to control how we think and feel. I think the web is dangerous now, because of how many people use it, and how difficult it is to find meaningful personal connections. We were safer before, because we were in small communities of people that knew us.

Now Social Media is a mob of strangers.

## And Finally

I made my account on Twitter private, before giving up, because of cyber-bullying. Every time I give the Fediverse another chance I am cyber-bullied just like I would be on Twitter. I don’t want to use Facebook but it’s less likely that I will be bullied and flamed there.

I dumped FB because of cyber-bullying for four or five years, until twitter was bought.

What makes cyber-bullying, trolling and flame wars so frustrating is that it’s never a disagreement between two people. It always snowballs into a flame war and that is what makes it so toxic, for the recipient of the flame war.

Every few weeks or months I try the Fediverse, get flamed and give up for a few more weeks or months. This time I think I might just give up for good. I came within seconds of deleting yet anohter fediverse account today.

Social media is about having fun, but when you get flamed it stops being fun.