On Solitude, Cycling, and Whatsapp

The more I use Whatsapp, in the Post pandemic age, the more toxic I find it. Last night I wrote something innocent. I wrote about rotisserie chicken and the temptation to have some before drinks. So far, so normal.

Someone I never met, and never talked with, in person, put a crying emoji and I don’t remember whether there was a comment or not. I wrote about how plants and trees have distress signals too, and that we should worry about their emotions too. There was a response but I never saw it because my response and another were deleted.

The impact on my emotional well being was negative, to the point that it bled into this morning. It’s by spending time with the cycling community that I recharged. I am sporty, so we have the same values. I was cycling alone, at the back, feeling down. Those at the back slowed, and chatted with me, bringing me out of my solitude, and erasing my isolation, and it recharged me.

There was a time when Whatsapp communities were friendly and social, but now, more than ever, I feel like we’re walking on egg shells not to offend people.

I am an introvert, but I am not an introvert because I enjoy solitude. I am an introvert because it’s so easy to be misunderstood, that sometimes it’s easier just to be quiet and observe, than try to be included, and be rejected. I’ve felt this way since I was in primary school.

Thursday I could go drinking with the people who don’t accept me for who I am, and I could do it again on Friday. If I do, though, it will impact my fitness and ability to keep up on Saturday’s ride.

I gave up on drinking culture, and the hiking community, especially in large groups, because of a clear difference in values. That’s why I gravitate towards cycling communities. Yesterday’s incident reminds me that I want my life to be centered in the physical world, and minimise my dependence on WhatsApp and other unhealthy platforms.

It’s good that those two cyclists drew me out of my introversion during the ride. I will enjoy the cycling community until snow and ice puts a stop to rides for this season. It was frosty this morning.