A Comment on Dating Culture on Threads and Strava

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Yesterday I was trolled by three people on Threads because of a comment on dating culture on Strava. I said that for me Strava is about networking rather than dating and for it one person said she friendzoned me, and two others were hostile rather than commenting in a friendly reason. For these three incidents of trolling I deactivated my Threads account and I am considering deactivating my Strava account.

My rational is simple. The Social web is about conversations that can lead to more over time. A few days ago I unfollowed a woman, and blocked her. She was trying to seduce us into interacting with her, despite being married, and in lieu of having real and meaningful conversations. It’s not that conversations need depth. It’s that if we follow influencers we lose track of individuals using social media to stave off solitude.

The Slippery Slope

Threads and Strava are not designed as dating sites. They are designed for social networks of cyclists and runners to share their events, and their routes, both projected, and completed. That’s why I said that Strava is for networking. For me the idea of Strava being a dating site is objectionable for two reasons, The first of these is that women will be flooded and harrassed by people contacting them without permission, and then complaining about it. New safety measures were added to Strava because of this problem.

For me dating culture promotes player culture, rather than friendship. This is a cultural difference between rural European ideas and urban American values. In an urban situation dating is fine, but in a rural one friendships that become more are realistic.

Rewarding Extroverts

If Threads and Strava become "dating" sites then it is the players, the extroverts, the people that don’t need social networks to begin with that will benefit the most. That’s why I have the term binfluencer. Binfluencers and binfluencer culture. Social media has become utilitarian.

My issue isn’t with people thinking that Threads or Strava are for dating. My issue is with being trolled for sharing an opinion. I have looked for a local cycling group, and have participated.

When I went to the Tour De Romandie Féminin event I knew that if I treated it as a dating event I would be seen as part of the problem, not part of the solution. In the age of MeToo women have to take the lead, because the line between flirting and unwanted attention is subjective.

At the event I sat by women my own age but I didn’t make advances because, in my eyes, and value system, people should be able to enjoy events without having to reject unwanted advances.

And Finally

For decades I have hated the concept of dating because for me we should have friendships that become more, rather than the job seeker three interviews before more optic. If an event is marked as being for single people then of course the situation is different, but unless this is the case I think that Threads and Strava should be seen as social networks.

It was wrong of those three people to be hostile for me reflecting a sentiment that is globally accepted. Strava intentionally made changes to protect people.

In summary, I think that social networks should be treated as social networks, not dating sites, because plenty of people run, jog, cycle and do other sports, to be healthy, and unwind. It is a mistake for us to turn a social network into a dating app, without consent.