On Valuing Social Networks Over Social Media

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I believe that is wrong for a society dependent on cars to ban children from mobile phones and related tech. I believe that it is wrong because you create two problems. The first is that in a car centric society, where we go to school, is not where we live, so if we want to be social on weekends or after school we need transport. The second reason is that with car-centric societies we are isolating those that do not have simplified access to going out and seeing friends.

When I went from the village school, to the international school, I went from living next door to friends, to living 9 kilometres from friends. I use “friends” broadly. As an introvert I have people I get along with better than others, and others. It’s hard to say “drop me off here to attempt to be social there”.

Web Forums and Web Chats

Due to the spacial seperation between where I lived, and the people I went to school with, when the school day was over, from around 1996 onwards I was on web forums and used instant messaging tools such as ICQ, Yahoo Messenger, MSN Messenger, and two specific forums. Neither of the web forums is still around. Back then web forums might have had 20-40 people so they were small. They were on a human scale. With instant messaging we had one on one conversations.

Fast Forward to TikTok and Whatsapp Groups

Recently, I have seen normal people, and by normal I mean non-early adopters. I mean mid to late adopters. These people look at the videos that I see as user generated crap, and unhealthy. When adults watch these videos I am sadened that low culture has become prevalent. At the same time, when children watch, and then emulate this content, then I think society needs to re-think social norms.

If people were having one on one video chats, in the seesmic style, then I’d be filled with acceptance. When I see that children emulate toxic video content styles from TikTok I see that there is a gap between the moral compass, that we as adults, should have taught these children, and societal norms.

The Phone Free Childhood

There is a phone free childhood article in the NYTimes today. As an early adopter I see nothing wrong with children having smartphones to communicate like we did, via Im clients rather than written notes. For me the limit is with addiction forming games, and toxic networks like threads, TikTok, Instagram and Facebook.

In my mind, messaging between individuals is not unhealthy. In my views group chats, in and of themselves are not toxic. In my eyes we have to watch out for toxic video content that children will emulate from TikTok and other “reel” style video sharing. In my mind that is toxic. I see these videos as toxic, for myself, as an adult.

Mentoring and Context

From my observation of adults, they are no better informed and prepared to use social media than children. They fall into the same cultural traps and accept the same social norms that I would refuse.

MotherDucking Hashtags and the Death of conversation

In my eyes conversations on Twitter were killed the moment people started to replace attention with hashtags. That’s when I saw a shift from healthy conversations within groups to a more utilitarian approach. That’s when solitude emerged on Twitter.

When I look at TikTok, I see an unhealthy network, where people record videos, to please an algorithm, with no effort for conversation. The same is true of Instagram, and Threads and more. The result is that people copy mêmes, rather than converse. For me that’s what is unhealthy, and that’s what I think is toxic for children, as well as adults.

And Finally, the Link Back to Cars

For me the temptation of smartphones and cars is linked. If we’re not surrounded by friends our own age because cars make walking too time consuming, then we’re tempted to sit at a screen, instead of doing things in person, with people.

If adults are against social media, or see them as being for the wrong thing, and so they allow children to misuse social media, then it’s a vicious cycle.

In my eyes, if we had kept the web forum, instant messaging and social network philosophy, rather than adapting to social media utilitarianism, then the conversation about smartphones would be different, because our use of such technology would be healthy.

In my eyes that A pair of verdicts held social media companies accountable for harming young users, highlighting a growing backlash as Congress struggles to pass legislation. is positive, because finally, the US is finding out that having a moral compass to inform how social media companies run is critical. “…two juries held social media companies accountable for harming young users.” I think it could hold these same companies to account for their negative effects on adults.

For me, social media, with the right social values become social networks, and with the right social networks, smartphones present an opportunity, rather than something to be feared.